To play the violin, according to stock photos

 

It’s all about the hair

Forget the hours of lessons and practice. Just ditch the balsam for a while and you’ll be a virtuoso in no time. Photo: Thinkstock

See?

Stock up on gel. You’ll need plenty. Photo: Thinkstock

Seek out the extreme

And if it all gets too much, you should definitely set yourself on fire. Photo: Thinkstock

Surround yourself by the elements

Water always adds emotion and drama. Photo: Thinkstock

Surroundings are everything

If there’s a firework display happening nearby, it’s time to roll. Photo: Thinkstock

It’s not always about technique

If in doubt, hold the violin by your armpits and inspect it as you jab away on the open strings. Sublime. Photo: Thinkstock

Never look directly at a violin

When you play, a wistful gazing into the distance is imperative. That way you won’t notice the ladder mysteriously attached to your head. Photo: Thinkstock

Money talks

Make it clear you’re a professional player. Staple cash to your head. Photo: Thinkstock

The naked truth

We’re shocked and appalled. There’s FAR too much rosin on that fingerboard. Photo: Thinkstock

 

Opusalb By Clasic FM

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