Me, you, us and Freedom
Our editorial office has received a writing which even though has no direct relation with music, there is some sort of integral relation with music philosophy, with current events of music, the concepts of our life as a musical object. This being the main motif, but also we enjoyed reading it we chose to share it by publishing it.
(A mother – son conversation)
Freedom is as infinite as the sky, with a relief as large as the globe and is as invisible as the air. I thought I was born free in the time of monism, and You, my son, do not feel free even though you are currently living abroad. This may be because that big city you live in has tightened free spaces with its large towers, or maybe you wish those free spaces only to yourself. In the past, the used to be few houses and they were constructed not much above ground (low) and between them there would be yards and gardens, which seemed wide and green, very green. We were very young. Maybe, it is the “nostalgia of an old folk” talking, as you like to call it.Later I was enraged and claimed and fought the war of more freedom, or how we used to call it back then “democracy”, while you claim it every morning when asking for more sleep, more sleep then you should claim for. In fact the reason why I think it is – “more then you should claim for” because maybe I don’t have any idea about quantities and measurements. It’s either you that “claim it more than you should” or it’s either me who has no ability to understand “freedom” the way you do and to feel as free as you. I felt somewhat happy even when I participated in actions, and the dangerous group – meetings of the time. Maybe I got used to with the isolation in my tuna – can, maybe I didn’t know any better, because I knew very little of this so-called “freedom”. At the time all I knew was the so-called “work” and “idealism”, and that sort of spirit has “conquered what is now left of my brain” you would say. While you cannot seem to get enough with the freedom of movement, with the freedom of communication, with the freedom of actions, and it’s precisely the “work” and “effort” I can’t seem to find in you. Your seek to free yourself even from physical work even though you know very well that it brings you money and even though you know you like movement which requires money, and communication which also requires money, and at the meantime despite all this you still seek commodity. Not even my money and your money put together don’t bring you the commodity you desire, to be free. And in both cases, I’m the one to feel guilty. -Does freedom equal money? I never thought it will ever be this way. Freedom did not used to be ….. It was taken from you when you spoke your mind, now days everyone is blessed with it, even the criminals and thieves. I used to think freedom was the space of knowledge, the ability to inspire others, and at the time the opportunities to require and receive knowledge were limited. There was no internet, nor digital books. Foreign languages were not inquired like now days. But you complain that you have too much to read, and that you don’t have too much of a free time; you even complain about learning about life in the planet of Mars, and that you cannot stay all night at a club because shoot you have to get up early in the morning because you have class. Now how annoying is that, tell me!
Ah, how times change! Freedom to me meant falling in love with a prince and marrying him. I cannot get out of my mind the sculpture of a female I saw on the square of the Republic in Paris, which symbolized Freedom with a torch in her hand. I thought of marrying her right there, because that link between a male and female was the sound of a consonant chord, it felt like happiness, it was life and freedom although I never got to enjoy either one of them for more than two weeks, or for about several months out of all my lifetime. But you cannot find happiness neither in loving woman or marrying them. At least, even though you have not tried that kind of happiness, I have heard it coming out from your friends. Before, when it came to us finding a job, we considered ourselves busy not free, while today you constantly remind me that finding a job would give you freedom. “The freedom from books – you say – is the condition after which an individual begins to make free decisions alone, thinks free and expresses free, after his own free will. In fact you may decide several things, you may think several more, you may even express them freely, but you lack of will and this is something very important you lost in your way. Before, we used to make this you would not believe thanks to our will, that will and passion. And today you make fun of me about that will and passion of mine for “lame work”, as you call it. “Money, money, – you keep repeating, – idealism is long dead”. But how you are going to be able to make all this money you keep talking about I have no idea. But of course, I am aware of all the new profession that are available today on marked like a drug dealer, politician or agent but I cannot visualize myself working those jobs. And yet you keep saying that you would be proud of me if I would be somewhat more “trendy”, as you call it. But one thing was done right at least, and all because of my efforts, that of you visiting every Sunday the church or every Friday the mosque. To pray and to ask God who knows what, but being free and feeling free here with me. To be honest I do not make fun of what you do, because I trust the stupidity of your ideas and you belief, even though I think that nothing good will come out of it at the same time I think that nothing bad will come either. Not mentioning the level of freedom you can find now days everywhere even in the press. I say this because in our days we were not aware of many things, even the laws were fewer back then. The less the better – they would say. Those were our few laws but they truly followed. If you were not to follow them you would lose your head and they would send you family in some abandoned village. Today there are many laws but few are actually followed, because people find a difficult time memorizing all they’re blessed with. It seems that the only ones that are able to memorize them all are their attorneys, so they can empty their pockets. I cannot say for certain when we were freer, then when we used to have fewer laws or today that we have ten times more. And I cannot say for certain when we were safer, back then or today with all the lawyers and attorneys. And above all, I cannot say for certain which laws were best and which not. This is what I think for me and you, but when it comes on thinking about all of us, it gets complicated. When I think about all of use back then, an image of many towers lining up in the same row after one hand comes to mind, but today, millions of towers are spilled and spread everywhere after each hand they like. I cannot say for certain who used to be freer: was it us or you! Could it be we are looking for the wrong kind of freedom?
/Dr. E. Ç./